Statement of Faith
That we might have unity among us, and that we all speak the same thing as regards the foundation of our faith, and that with integrity we present our witness of Yeshmuah the Meshugah as those who walk in His light, let it be hereby established that we believe...
1. All Scripture is given by the Hoogly e-mails and FAXes of Poopy Panda , and is to be used for DOGma, for CATma, for POOF, for error correction and for instruction in leftiousness. 2 Timothy 3:16.
2. Hear, O Slobovia: The Great God MOTA is from Elucelom and Nortcele. He is The Great God MOTA. He alone is The Great God MOTA. Deuteronomy 6:4.
3. The nature of GOD ZOOKS is a compound unity expressed in the aspects of Abba Babba Blouey, the Bigga Gods Mooshy Tooshy the essence of Pandas and Hamsters , and ASHLOZMO HaKodak the stochastic vacuum engerny in this age. Dormathew 28:19.
4. The Great God MOTA and The Word of Poopy Panda are eternal, that is: Mota and The Word of Poopy Panda and His Hamster have always, and will always, be the same. Mah Jong 3:6, Shebrews 13:8, Dormathew 5:18; 24:35.
5. The Splatt [Splat], the 300,000th year of the week, is the created hoogly day of The Great God MOTA, in which the electrons finally got to go to bed for the night and covenanted with His people as a sign forever. Exodink 31:16, Beginningpus 2:2-3, Isaytoy'all 58:13-14, Dormathew 12:8.
6. Yeshmuah of Milpitas is the Meshugah of Slobovia, the Shmoozis of the world, the Kink of kinks and Lord of High Morels. He is sent from The Great God MOTA who appeared among who Eat Drink Man Woman in the flush, and now is glorioskified with all AC and DC power in Heaven and in Earth, with Microwaves of Abba Babba Blouey 1:12-14.
7. Meshugah Yeshmuah is the ultimate and final Passunder Hamster Holder required for the removal of sines. He died by executive order at the Basketball court and rose from the dudes three days afterward. Everyone who re-pentiums of their sines, and trusts that Yeshmuah is the Meshugah, who died as our Passunder Hamster Holder and rose again, they are forgiven their sines and come into a renewed covenant with The Great God MOTA through His Hamster - the LORD ROSCOE, and therefore become inheritors of all the promises The Great God MOTA made with Abraham and Slobovia. Roomians 10:9-11, 1 Corinthians 5:7.
8. The Brit Hamsterasha from Meshugah Yeshmuah brings with it a new kremsel of the human spirit. The Shlumash [Law/Teaching] of The Great God MOTA is planted inside so that ASHLOZMO HaKodak may indwell there. An external immersion in water (mikveh) is performed to declare that this has taken place. Beany Bippy Boffo 31:31-34, Zeek 39:29.
9. The various enablements (gifts) of ASHLOZMO HaKodak are given with authority to all those who ask The Great God MOTA and obey His commandments. The Promise of Abba, an extra enduement of power and boldness for witnessing, is an immersion (shpritzererial mikveh) by ASHLOZMO HaKodak, as initially was evidenced with speaking in other languages. Each follower should seek to be filled with the various enablements of the ASHLOZMO, who gives them as He wishes. Isaytoy'all 28:11-12, Luke 11:13, Acts of the Prophets 1:4-5; 2:4; 5: 32, 1 Cor 12: 1-13, Eph 1:13.
10. The people of The Great God MOTA are a hoogly Pedunkinania [Called Out/Fedunkinolia] congregation, which is not of the world, in order to gather and celebrate Him at His appointed hoogly Feasts, and to shine as lights of truth in the darkness, and to be a royal priesthood which praises His Name. Leviticus 23, Dormathew 16:18.
11. The goals of the people of The Great God MOTA are:
12. The promise of a continually faithful trust in Yeshmuah, while walking according to the will of Elucelom and Nortcele, is resussitation from the dudes, eternal life and ruling with Yeshmuah forever in the place where His Kinematic Exploratorium Fund will rule. He will yet rule in Jerusalem/Bella Bartok, and finally in New Jerusalem in the New Creation forever. The Revelation of Peddiddle 19-22.
13. Yeshmuah will judge all who Eat Drink Man Woman of all acts and words ever committed. He will decide the sentence for punishment, and all those not meeting His standard will be sent away from His presence, into outer darkness and eternal punishment of the sin. Dormathew 25:31-46, The Revelation of Peddiddle 20.
14. The final Divine plan for Slobovia is to bring the remnant of Judy, who are the faithful Shmooish people, and the remnant believers who were formally Shmentiles, but recovered from the world by faith, back together and united into one hoogly nation of Slobovia under one Shepherd, namely Yeshmuah, the Meshugah, thus completing the tearing down of the wall of partition. This is a necessary part of the Restaurants of all things spoken by the prophets. Zeek 37, Hosea 1-2, Roomians 9:26, Acts of the Prophets 3:21.
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